Among the many million Filipinos in the Country and abroad, who are elderly, adults and children, who belong to the elite, the middle class and the poor – who did not come from the union of a man and woman usually united by the bond of marriage? Does it not necessarily take the intimate partnership and consummate oneness of a man and woman customarily pledged in marriage, to bring forth the living existence of every single person in the world? It is wherefore not always relevant and even importance to talk about marriage such are its “What?” and “Why?” and “When?” and “How?” and “Where?” – among so many other realities?
The subject matter of marriage even becomes more ardent and urgent specially so when people hear of grand “Weddings” as well as famous “Separations”, i.e., of delightful spousal unions and tearful marital separations. Marriage is one grace-filled and much-promising man and woman relational option whereas it is well said and clearly written: “Failure in marriage cannot be compensated by any success outside thereof.” A great saying! A realistic pronouncement! An impressive reminder! As marriage is the fundamental source of sublime happiness and contentment, so too it is the basic origin of great desolation and dejection.
What is marriage? The Filipinos have their truly incisive and really impressive way of understanding and expressing specially profound and signal realities in their day to day life. This is the “definition” they have and give about marriage: It is a “Pag-iisang Dibdib” – akin to the English expression of marriage as a “Two-in-One” conjugal reality. Taking head-on the herein preferred pinoy version of marriage, in effect it says all the following probing and piercing foundation matrimonial factors:
One: As an imperative and decisive element of marriage, the man and woman concerned must be whole in their respective personality constitution such that they are precisely two wholesome person.
Two: As a decisive and definitive knowing and willing option, the same man and woman precisely decide to give – not to lend – his and her respective half to one another, categorically by reason of genuine love for one another.
Three: As a marvelous and enchanting result, the said man and woman remain two person but only one in love such their otherwise two loves in effect become but one,
i.e., "Isang Dibdib".
Conclusion: When someone has no command or dominion over his or her personality constitution, how could the same give his or her half? How could he or she enter into a “Pag-iisang Dibdib”? And in the event that a de facto marriage has been entered into, he or she nevertheless remains one, whole and intact. In such a case, how could the same have a successful marriage?!
9 JULY 2010