Wednesday, December 30, 2015

UNDERSTANDING MARRIAGE



“The marriage covenant  by which a man and woman establish between themselves a partnership of their whole life, and which of its own very nature is ordered to the well-being of the spouses and to the procreation and upbringing of children, has been between the baptized, raised by Christ to the dignity of a Sacrament.” (Canon 1055 CIC)

It will be hard to find a better definition – notion, understanding, meaning – of marriage as it truly is in the realm of nature, in the sphere of reality, in the perspective of ethics – in the order of morals and the supernal included.  In other words, it took the Code of Canon Law to affirm the “What?”, the “How?” and the “Why?” of marriage as the Church came to study and conclude after centuries of study, analysis, and reflection thereon.  And thus stands the substantive affirmation of what marriage is in reality and truth.  And so comes the practical need to point out even but a key word in the above-cited notion/definition of marriage as far as the Church is concerned – considering that a big number of marriages is held in Church not only in “June”  but specially so in December such as the previous month.

“Covenant”

Marriage wherefore is definitely not a mere contract – not a simple agreement, a plain accord much less a mere understanding.  It is a harmonious and joyful meeting of the minds and the wills – the understanding and the feeling of the man and the woman concerned such that that they eventually pledge, deliberately vow and officially make a bonding oath to be formally united one with the other – now, then and ever.

A “Covenant” is a phenomenon practiced even in this Country along the understanding and implication of a “Blood Compact” – something considered very serious and momentous, very distinct and consummate such that it ends only with nothing less than the end itself of the life of one if not both of the two parties therein.  Again, a mere contract, marriage is not.

Among other more relevant and ardent reminders, the following can be said: Marriage is not for those of weak will and resolve.  Neither is marriage for the uncertain or undecided.  Much less is marriage for the flippant in personality or the unstable in thinking and actuation.  There is nothing like  Personality Disorder that makes marriage a big relational impossibility.

A man and a woman in biology and physiology, a man and a woman in mental and affective constitution, a man and a woman in attributions and potentials – such is the manhood and womanhood required for a couple to be a truly marriage partners.  In other words, marriage is neither for “boys” and “girls” no matter how much “in love” they are, but neither for an adult “man” and a “woman”  but childish in emotional/behavioral disposition. All of them may be good or even great for something – but definitely not for the “Covenant”  of Christian Marriage.