Monday, June 04, 2012

Wedding Vows and Divorce


“I (name) take you (name) as my lawfully wedded wife/husband. Before these witnesses I vow to love you for as long as we shall live. I take you with all your faults and strength. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.”

The above formulary used in contracting a civil/protestant marriage by and large contains the substance of other forms of getting married. The standard phrases invoked for marriage intents and purposes are the following – in addition to the above quoted “I choose you as the person I will spend my whole life with my whole life”: “I will love you today, tomorrow, and forever.” “Let us commit our lives together for all the days to come.” “I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.” The more commonly said and heard marriage vow goes this way: “…to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.”

On the other hand, there is the so-called Divorce which may have different expressions and/or explanations that are however the same in substance and implications. It is essentially understood as a “split,” “rupture,” “segregation,” “dissociation” or “division” – irrespective of the reasons or factors that cause it. In other words, it is the legally confirmed rift between spouses that automatically carries therewith the personal option of the man and/or the woman to get married to others.

Usually, a “Divorce” is obtained on the ground of infidelity, abandonment and other causal factors, every one of which nevertheless can be purposely done precisely to get divorced. But then, there is even the so-called “No Fault Divorce” premised only on the desire of both parties to call it quits as spouses. There is no need to look for any guilt on the part of the man and/or woman. It is enough that they no longer want to stay married. Add hereto the usual silence about how many marriages and divorces either or both parties may enter into and obtain, respectively.

The fundamental question is whether the decision to get really married and the option to become eventually divorced can truly coexist in one and the same man and/or woman. The answer is a loud “Yes!” if the Wedding Vows are changed – to something like this: “I (name) take you as my wife/husband for all long as we want, for better but not for worse, for richer but not for poorer, in health but no in sickness.” Or something the like. Such words or phrases as the following are but big jokes when marriage and divorce go hand and hand: “forever,” “for all the days to come,” “’til death do us part.” Common sense says so – no need for profound understanding, academic excellence of professional degree.