The marital union between a man and woman being what is and what is it for, stands to reason that there must be certain objective truths and living realities that cannot but be seriously considered and evaluated if a couple--not only the man but also the woman, or both of them--are seriously contemplating of getting married. It is not simply fundamental but also practical to think and decide if the following statements are really true or actually false:
Marriage is for adults. It is definitely not merely for the old in age but also the mature in their action and reaction patterns. In other words, such a serious option as entrance into the marital state is not for boys and girls in their mentality and consequent conduct. It is not a secret that there are young people who think and behave like adults--just as there are old people who act and reason out like juveniles. Again, marriage is for adults, i.e., a man and a woman who are grown-up, dependable and responsible.
Marriage is by reason altruistic love. This is exactly the opposite of selfish love. In other words, both the man and the woman marry one another for their mutual love to serve one another--definitely not because one is merely useful to the other. Love that is self-centered is not only an anti-marriage factor but also a counter-social feature--even but considering that the human person is by nature a social being. “I need you!” “You are good for me!” “I am lost without you!”--all such thoughts and convictions are but expressions of self-love which is a fatal premise of marriage.
Marriage is sacrifice more than comfort. Needless to say there are many blissful moments and blessed episodes in a marriage that is entered into by the right parties with the right personality constitutions and the right intentions. But, marriage which is made on earth--not in heaven--demands much sacrifice on the part of both spouses/parents. It is precisely when either or both parties therein begin to look for but comfort in their marriage while rejecting the sacrifices--acts of self-immolation--that necessarily go therewith, this is the sign that “the end is near”.
There is this distinguished and wise saying--written in bold letters on a big and high firewall somewhere on Metropolitan manila: “Failure in marriage cannot be compensated by any success outside thereof.” Any couple getting married? Why? Why? Why?
17 NOVEMBER 2010