Wednesday, January 02, 2008

year of the rat

A good number of individuals say, predict and affirm a much bigger number of things to do or to avoid, to expect or to disregard, to be careful of or to rejoice at for the year 2008, the Year of the Rat. Without the least intention of offending anybody much less denying beliefs, it might be good to hear the “other side”, viz, to know what remain unsaid, unmentioned and unheard about the rat and its year.

First thing first: There is the rodent. There are also the mice. And here comes the rat! Now, which is what and why? What is wrong with having a “Year of the Rodent” or a “Year of the Mice” for that matter? What’s so right with insisting with the Year of the Rat? Concretely thinking however about the Philippines, the rat appears more appropriate even if only for the reason that lately rats are known to bite even children and adults while sleeping in their crowded houses—in addition to a good number of big fat rats in the ruling administration and in many public offices.

Now, it’s about time to reveal what have been unknown and wherefore unexposed for many centuries by standard experts in divinizing the meaning of zodiac signs. At the start of the every New Year, they are the ones usually called and always asked for their readings and predictions for the days ahead. It is but proper now to reveal calmly and prudently what the unknown super-duper-experts say about the Year of the Rat.

First: the complementary and complimentary year of the Year of the Rat is the Year of the Cheese. Truth to say, cheese is what makes rats happy and fatty, at peace with itself and with the world. Advisory: Find the rats. Give them cheese. This way, the Year of the Rat to comes in full circle.

Second: the rat is the great symbol of love. It loves to smell, loves to gnaw, loves to nibble. The only problem is that rats do now shower hence they are anything but worth loving. Advisory: Take regular showers lest you drive away the love of people like rats readily do.

Third: never idle but always busy. No long sleep but short naps. The rat is always ready to run fast and away. It is very rare, if ever, to find a sleeping rat. The rat is indeed the sign of all work and no rest nor sleep. Advisory: If you want to die young and fast, follow the unhealthy ways of the rat that is in fact unhealthy for humans to have around.

Fourth: It is commonly said that in this Year of the Rat, the color of preference is red. Wrong! It is gray which is between white and black, good and bad, virtue and vice, truth and lie. Advisory: To know well the ways of the grey rat, ask the ruling administration how it is done. It is like hearing it from the horse’s mouth—whatever this really means.

Fifth: In this Year of the Rat, it is of particular significance that at the first hours of New Year’s Day, all the doors and windows of houses must be kept wide open to let good fortune in. Advisory: Incidentally, the thieves, the ever-present fumes and the everlasting dust also go in, that is having both fortune and misfortune at the same time in the same house. Is there any other “tune”?

2 January 2008