Marriage is an indivisible and insoluble covenant whereby a man and woman establish a partnership for their wellbeing as spouses and for the welfare of the children they have. This is the understanding of the church about marriage. Whatever is radically dissonant with any element of marriage as thus defined, can render it juridically null and void from the very start.
For the church wherefore, any of the following five signal factors can be dissonant with valid and effective marriage:
· Soluble marriages at the option of the spouses, so with the so-called “open” marriages and polygamous unions.
· Marriages between boys and girls in mentation, the same those between the so-called one of whom is an “x-man” and an “x-woman”.
· Dominating or controlling, violative or anti-social personality constitution on the part of either or both parties that makes spousal welfare a moral impossibility.
· Psychopathological condition on the part of either or both parties that makes spousal welfare a moral impossibility.
· Deliberate and consistent decision to avoid having children during the entire union, on the part of either or both parties.
Genuine love which is both the premise and rationale of marriage is an altruistic reality. This means that somebody with true love towards someone thinks of what good the former can give or bring the later. The danger signal is wherefore up when a supposed lover thinks of what he or she can take or have from the alleged beloved.
“I need you!” “You make me live!” “I am lost without you!” “You are meant for me!” All these pronouncements and similar ego-serving claims are not altruistic but instead selfish postures, to say the least. They are not the true much less the best expressions of real love—but self-love.
Finally, no couple can live on love alone. Precisely for this love to become endearing and enduring, it needs food, clothing, and shelter. This is reality. Otherwise its mere fantasy.
1 November 2006